- I am 47
- What is my ethnicity:
- Sexual orientation:
- What I prefer to drink:
- My hobbies:
- Riding a bike
- I have eyebrow piercing
Men who have negative sexist attitudes toward women are more likely to use assertive courtship strategies, such as teasing women, a new study shows. But these strategies can sometimes be successful — most often on women seeking "no strings attached" sex. Assertive courtship strategies, which also include competing with other men who are interested in the same woman and isolating her from her friendsare based on "speed seduction techniques" described in the best-selling dating advice book for men, Neil Strauss' "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" It Books,as well as the popular cable TV show "The Pickup Artist. To better understand characteristics of men who use these techniques and the women who find them appealing, researchers from the University of Kansas conducted two surveys, with the first involving a sample of college students from a large Midwestern university. The second, larger national survey was conducted online and recruited adult volunteers. Researchers asked both male and female participants about their attitudes toward women and whether they were willing to take part in uncommitted or casual sex.
Sounds stupid. Boston University party.
Six in total, a decent night. Too bad he lost track of his total count after While few people take casual sex to this extreme, the hook-up culture at college is no rarity; 72 percent of us will hook up before we graduate. This is no surprise. Combine free condoms, distance from home, minimal responsibility, plentiful alcohol, and parties every weekend with the fact that sex just feels good and you have an equation for casual sex.
The hook-up culture may seem like an elegant solution to the college life style—reap all the benefits of an orgasm without the commitment of a relationship—but it distorts and perverts our capacity to value each other. Nature thinks a lot. Whenever we hold hands, make intense eye contact, or have sex, we increase the concentration of oxytocin in the brain sometimes up to percent.
Cultural shifts in dating
Oxytocin makes us trust one another and form deep, affectionate bonds. Furthermore, every touch, every kiss, and every orgasm releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which increases desire for something.
When we release it during sex, we want to have more sex. Consequently, every hook-up is an uphill battle against nature—a conscious attempt to detach ourselves from emotions like care, trust, affection, and love by doing the very act which amplifies them.
Biologically speaking, casual sex is never casual. On a less scientific level, the hook-up culture undermines and even prevents us from forming genuine relationships. Maybe participants in the hook-up culture recognize that there are deeper levels of intimacy than hooking up, but just want to enjoy college while they still can.
How are people supposed to find a soul mate when they equate trust with sexual reliability, compatibility with pleasure, and love with lust? During orientation week, Harvard makes an effort to educate its incoming class about the many temptations it will face on campus.
Students are required to go to everything from Sex als to Extended Orientation workshops on drugs and alcohol. Harvard puts a lot of faith in the decision-making abilities of its students; it presents all of these issues not by taking a stab at what is ethically right and wrong, but rather what is safe and not safe, legal and not legal.
Because of this, students confuse normative permissibility with moral acceptability. We ask: Is this physically safe?
Is this legal? Okay, okay, at least legal-ish? But few consider: Am I treating this person as a human being ought to be treated?
Is this action morally justifiable? If we really are old enough to be making our own decisions, we ought to be mature enough to commit to the reflection necessary for making the right ones.
By participating in the hook-up culture, we reinforce the idea that the emotional energy required for sex is no different from that required for self-pleasure or pornography, we reinforce the belief that genuine relationships come second to an orgasm, we reinforce the notion that sex is just an emotionless, mindless, physical act.
But sex is so much more than that. Sex becomes a deep, romantic, beautiful thing when combined with love and trust.
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