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Gay women tend to be exclusively sexually attracted to women, while straight women are more likely to be aroused by both sexes, a study says. Researchers asked women about their sexual preferences and compared these with their arousal levels when shown videos of attractive men and women.
Some months ago a young woman came to see me who had just turned 18 — and had been questioning her sexual orientation for years. She had been attracted to girls since she was at high school, but she had had sex with both girls and boys. She now believed she preferred girls, but how could she be a lesbian when she had also slept with boys?
No woman 'totally straight', study says
Her friends told her she was bisexual, but she didn't like to be labelled. It is quite common for lesbians to first have relationships with men.
Bisexuals are sexually and emotionally attracted to both men and women. If my client decides she prefers women and doesn't find men attractive anymore, she can rule out being bisexual. But is it that important to label yourself before you figure out your sexual orientation?
And how do you know if you are a lesbian or not? Answering some simple questions may help:.
Are your sexual feelings for women stronger than for men? Do you prefer being kissed by a woman or a man?
Are you physically more attracted to women's or men's bodies? Are your sexual fantasies about men or women?
Love & sex
Which sex would you like to settle down with in the future? InUS sex researcher Alfred Kinsey and some colleagues developed the Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale — known as The Kinsey Scale — a seven-point scale, ranging from 0 to 6, with an additional category of "X".
The scale runs from exclusively heterosexual 0 to equally heterosexual and homosexual 3 to exclusively homosexual 6with the X grade often described as asexuality. The scale was not intended to for individuals' sexual identity heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual or deed to be a test or a quiz to determine one's "true" sexual orientation.
It allows for change and fluidity in individuals' sexuality, and the researchers were aware that sexuality is not fixed or static from birth to death. The scale is a method of self-evaluation based on one's individual experience, and the on the scale can shift as one's sexuality develops. It's quite common to be unsure, especially for some women who believe they are straight but sometimes, later in life, fall in love with a woman. There is lots of information about what straight couples do in the bedroom in magazines, papers and the movies, but not much about girl-on-girl sex. Most lesbians find it really annoying to be asked what sort of sex they have, as in "what do they actually do?
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For example "who is the male" in the relationship? This question shows how deeply ingrained gender roles are. Butch and femme are terms used to describe individual gender identities. Butch is usually defined as a lesbian who dresses and presents herself in a masculine way. Femme refers to feminine-looking lesbians, who may also be known as lipstick lesbians. Most people think of a lesbian as the stereotypical image of a butch lesbian with baggy pants and short hair.
One of my clients who identifies as a lipstick lesbian complained about the comments she receives when she tells people she is gay. They say, "you don't look like a lesbian — you are too pretty to be a lesbian — it must be a phase", and straight girls have asked her out to "experiment", which she finds extremely infuriating. So is there much difference between lesbian and heterosexual sex? The way lesbians have sex is as varied as straight couples; they also have all kinds of positions and roles can be switched.
They may have toys, but these are no more a necessity for lesbians than they are for other couples.
Interestingly, lesbian women are much more likely to orgasm during sexual activity than either straight or bisexual women. Last year Autostraddleone of the world's most popular lesbian websites, conducted a study into the sex lives of lesbians, calling it The Ultimate Lesbian Sex Survey.
Sexuality and romantic identities
They questioned women, of whom 89 per cent were between 18 and It's a massive report, so I'll break it down to the most interesting parts. According to respondents, The majority of women have sex multiple times a week. The survey found that 44 per cent of women masturbate multiple times a week.
Scissoring is not the most popular way gay women have sex. The majority of sexual encounters last between 30 and 60 minutes. Women in monogamous lesbian relationships have more orgasms.
Talking about sex le to more orgasms and couples who orgasm more are also more satisfied with their sex lives. In London, Nicola Chubb, founder of Mint events, runs high-end lesbian nightclubs and hosts popular social events across town. They are aimed at lesbian women with "refined tastes who want to dance until dawn, and meet like-minded females in a non-pretentious environment". Chubb says she's noticed a change of so-called "fluidity" going on in her clubs.
What is the difference between gynosexual and androsexual?
Many straight girls who used to go out partying with gay men are now choosing to hang out with lesbians, realising they certainly know how to have fun. Getting back to the question "How do you know you are a lesbian? For more information in New Zealand: Contact Rainbow youth. Comments on this article have closed.
How do you know you are lesbian rather than bisexual? Matty SilverJul 26