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Commitment is a slippery slope after all.

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Sometimes, wives just do things for no apparent reason to you. Imagine that. Sure, she can cheat on you in a physical sense. Sex is the biological imperative after all. But cheating can also take place on a psychological, social and financial level too. Sometimes a woman will try hard to cover her tracks.

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Depending on your level of trust and your relationship with your wife, you may have always shared phone stuff with each other, or you may have kept a respectful distance. Some wives go through phases where everything is a post. Other times, the types of things that get posted will change. This will feed your paranoia for sure.

Small white lies make it easier to tell big fat black lies. People go in cycles when it comes to staying in shape, so it may be nothing.

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Just look at it in the overall context of what else is going on in your life as well. It could also mean that her new hook-up is actually meeting her at the gym! She may be tuning you out because she is tuning into someone else. Give her the benefit of the doubt, but do make sure you ask her why, just to see what her answer is.

A separate social life is cool and often times needed to maintain a healthy marriage. With long-standing friends, you always have the advantage of familiarity to quiz them and look for anything your wife might be up to, but you lose that when she starts running with the new girls on the block.

Paying for things in cash when they have been paid for by a debit or credit card in the past are also ways to cover up tracks and details about messing around. Not only that, she encourages you to hang out with the guys a lot more than normal. Shuffling you off to the side gives her added free time to get into mischief. She may also dip out at the last minute due to mysterious illnesses, or not want to hear about what a great time you had at a concert or watching your favorite team play.

Keep in mind that your friends can often spot when your wife is acting differently and many times, wives know this. When she gets angry with you whether you did something wrong or not, it makes it easier for her to justify cheating on you as well.

Your wife used to be your best friend. You loved doing all kinds of things together.

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You went to sappy chick flicks and she went to college football games, even when both of you would rather be somewhere else. Mentally divorcing you is one of the first steps to physically cheating on you. Sometimes people go through periods where they just want to be alone with their thoughts. As a guy, that may be you more than your wife.

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But when a television and remote in one room squares off against a keyboard and a computer in the other room on a nightly basis, it sends a bad message to each other. Everybody looks. But wives on the prowl look a lot more than wives who are not. You have to allow for a certain amount of checking other people out, just like she needs to allow a certain amount of it for you too. But when it becomes a problem, it may mean a cougar is getting ready to pounce in a different direction.

This might mean no interest in things like a vacation, buying a house, starting a renovation, and so forth. Most women love to shop.

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Most women love to create a comfortable nest. Most women who stop this kind of behavior may be thinking past these things and to a new person in a new place.

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When your wife checks out mentally, it may be because she has checked out physically as well. Non-participation is a form of checking out which she may have already done both mentally and physically instead of being present for life events for you and the kids in the here and now. She may have treated this like a game in the past, gently putting your big head in its place if you were the object of affection by another woman.

But instead of acting that way now, she may be using it as a form of justification to accept incoming flirting directed at her, or as a way to accuse you of cheating instead. Sometimes, its depression. You may be still trying to grow your family tree, but she may already be planting new seeds somewhere else.

As men already know, an unhappy wife is an unhappy life for everyone she touches. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When hanging out with single friends, that temptation quotient rises a lot more because the single ladies will attract men on the prowl.

Hormonal changing can drive even the best wife crazy and sometimes into the arms and bed of another man. Need we say more? Some guys get jealous and some guys kind of puff out their chests in a burst of pride if their wife gets hit on.

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And a wife who comes home and playfully reports this kind of thing to her husband is less likely to cheat than a woman who keeps that secret to herself. Cheaters tend to accuse others of their own behavior. You keep stepping on relationship landmines that blow up in your face, no matter which way you turn. If they did it once, either with you or while they were with someone else, just dating or whatever the case may be, studies have shown that a wife is more likely to do it again.

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By picking a fight with you, your wife could be trying to create justification in their own mind that things are bad at home so seeking comfort in the arms of a stranger makes more sense. Look your partner in the eye, and if you can actually see that distant disengaged look, she is probably cheating on you. And, if your wife is having trouble sleeping, or experiencing depression or anxiety, she may be cheating on you as well. Fear has a way of taking control away. If she is cheating, she will be afraid like a scared cat you will find out, no matter how disconnected you are.

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When you do the right husband thing and show interest in it, she may avoid talking about it or blows you off. Maybe she just wants a little space and your head and your insecurities are playing games with you…or maybe not. Casual and friendly chats with a co-worker or a neighbor can turn into a lot more when a woman sends out the s of approval because another man praised her or paid her the kind of attention she wants.

That one half represents your half of the marriage and the responsibility you have to take upon yourself for allowing some of these other possibly cheating behaviors to take place. All kidding aside, when a marriage starts to go bad or when you suspect your wife is cheating on you, at least half of that behavior is something you need to own. Sometimes more, and maybe sometimes less.

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But if we got you to stop and think about it, then it was worth it. Before doing anything else, you need to decide if you want to save your marriage. Are you ready to throw in the towel or is your marriage worth fighting for?

Give yourself some time to process. I urge you to speak with a therapist who can help you sort through your emotions and guide you on what steps to take next. You can connect with your therapist from anywhere via phone, text, or video sessions.

They also offer couples counseling. Bret is a journalist with a passion for writing about all things divorce.

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His areas of expertise include real estate, insurance, and government programs, just to name a few. In the process of ending a long-term marriage, Bret brings a first-person perspective to the trials and tribulations of divorce, co-parenting, and relaunching.

Survive Divorce is reader-supported.

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Some links may be from our sponsors. Alright gentlemen, here we go. Nothing can wreck a marriage faster than finding out your wife is cheating on you. Call it disrespect. Call it indifference. The best phone monitoring app is mSpy. You can monitor calls, photos, videos, s, and text messages.

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Check out mSpy here. What to do next Before doing anything else, you need to decide if you want to save your marriage. Bret Colson Bret is a journalist with a passion for writing about all things divorce. Gray Divorce: The Complete Guide. How to Cope with Divorce as a Man. A Guide to Cryptocurrency and Divorce. Counseling Children Through Divorce.

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