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I used to do WhatsApp and Messenger chatting with a girl who showed a lot of interest in me.
Posted June 30, Reviewed by Matt Huston. Yet I still get s from women asking how to let a guy know they are interested — and get him to approach them.
I also get s from men who want tips, beyond basic body language cuesthat help them know a woman is really interested in them. As usual, I dug into the research literature. As it turns out, a few pioneering researchers have covertly watched women flirtingin bars and on campuses, to answer these very questions.
Through their observations, they have found a of nonverbal behaviors and body language cues that women use to al their potential interest to men, and motivate men to approach them, too. The first study I reviewed came from Moorewho performed an observational study of women flirting in bars and on a college campus. Male attention was further defined as a man approaching the woman, talking to her, asking her to dance, or even in a few instances kissing her.
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From those observations, Moore identified 52 nonverbal behaviors that women use to al their potential interest in a man. Of those, some of the most frequently performed behaviors by women were:. Beyond those flirting behaviors, once a man approached, women also touched in a of ways to show interest as well.
Or, the woman might position herself so her knee, thigh, or foot were touching the man to show interest. In some instances, a woman might even initiate a hug or hang off a man. A follow-up study by Moore and Butler evaluated some of these behaviors more thoroughly.
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The team again camped out in bars — this time observing the differences in behavior between single women who were approached by a man versus women who did not get approached. The of their observations showed some ificant behavioral differences between women who were approached and those who were not.
Particularly, women who were approached often smiled at men, danced by themselves, nodded at men, leaned toward them, or tilted their head neck presentation — while women who did not get approached performed none of those behaviors. Further, women who were approached were more likely to also look around the room, flip their hair, toss their head, and fixate their glance on a specific man. Beyond those behavioral differences, Moore and Butler evaluated the general attractiveness of the women observed.
On average, there was no difference in attractiveness between women who were approached and those who were not. In fact, according to the analysis, an unattractive woman who displayed a lot of solicitation behaviors was more likely to be approached by men than an attractive woman who did not display solicitation behaviors.
The studies here basically align with research I have reviewed on flirting and body language.
Given that, the best way for a woman to al her interest in a man is to look at him and smilewhile having open and relaxed body language. More specifically, in the studies above, the women who were approached by men were having fun, dancing, smiling, and looking around. In short, they looked approachable and interested. If you are a woman and seek interest from a man, start by looking interested in him.
Catch his eye by looking around the room, dancing, moving closer, or flipping your hair. When you get his attention, look at him and smile. As he approaches, show that you are receptive by nodding or tilting your head.
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Once a man approaches, flirting becomes more about leaning in close, laughing, and touching. In fact, touching is very attractive and persuasive ; even accidental touching can lead to intimacy.
So caress your glass, find an excuse to slide into the seat next to him, and get better acquainted. If you are a man wondering whether a woman is interested, look for the behaviors above. If a woman is looking around and flipping her hair, pay attention. If she makes eye contact and smiles at you, break the ice and start a conversation. If she likes what you have to say and touches you, then it may be time to ask her out.
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Learning about these flirting behaviors helps both women and men get to know each other better. If you are a woman, use them to send clear als — and the men you like may be more likely to say hello. If you are a man, look for those flirting als — and your own approach may be more likely to get a warm reception.
Moore, M. Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: Context and consequences. Ethology and Sociobiology, 6 Predictive aspects of nonverbal courtship behavior in women. Semiotica, 3 Jeremy Nicholson, M. Worry is driven by mood, not logic.
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Jeremy Nicholson M. The Attraction Doctor. References Moore, M. About the Author. Online: Facebook.
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